This is a decently tricky blog for me to write, as I am still navigating through this space. I also wanted a more clever title and then realized we all have relationships and we are typically interested in reading more about them, as they are so much a part of our lives!
As humans, we are meant to be in relationship - it is how we learn, grow, experience, connect, and enjoy the experience here on Earth. And I use relationship generally in that last sentence. We can be in relationship with animals, nature, others, self, the Divine, all of the above! Recently, a relationship I'd only been tackling at the surface ran out of surface space, really. There's no more surface for me to skate along; it's time to go deeper.
Relationship with self! Yes. I said it (and even topped it with a ! I find that to be more fun than a possibly mundane period ...)
I've been aware of the importance of improving my self love game for awhile, and I have been chipping away at it. I have seen some growth, and I do acknowledge and celebrate that! I am so grateful for that! Last week, thanks to an alignment of the stars (literally) and a lack of self care plan being in place, it hit me how much I was maybe still looking to others to take care of me. After further consideration, I realized how in talking through things with someone, or about something with someone, my brain was actually trying to collect 'info' so I would know how to feel (versus just feeling it.) There was a caution and hesitancy I still had in how I approached connecting with other humans. It isn't like I didn't experience emotion, I just maybe was still learning how to let it naturally flow, and even let it naturally flow through my heart, too. The heart is so much of who I am, and yet I was still trending to have relationships run from my brain.
Which returns to the whole relationship with self 'problem.' The brain looks at the figures and requirements to run a business and push, push, push was the general rule. (Honestly, though, this is an area where I have most easily been able to relax, especially when I am in the space with the Records.. that is heart and brain and body, combined.) I want to be authentically me in my heart space, and I want to deliciously enjoy life from the heart. I am now going to go deeper, and look at the subconscious beliefs running the show. I know it will be tricky and painful and possibly ugly, and it will also be beautiful, healing, freeing, and peaceful.
In these moments of being human, and remembering that being human is the good and bad (as we define them) of emotions, experiences, etc it is also beneficial for me to remember that I am Divine, and always part of the Divine. And that I am here to be human AND Divine... not just stay in one world or the other. When I acknowledge and love all of me, that Divinity flows so strongly through me. It is available to me, especially when I ask.
So my active ask is for the Divine to stay step in step with me, and guide me as I navigate deeper into self love, along with the Akashic Records, and any others who have become part of my path now. I am grateful to all of the wonderful women in my heart family and community who have loved on me and provided guidance. You are awesome, beautiful and loving. I am grateful for the support, diligence, love, and guidance of the Records. I am grateful for the Divine.
This AM, my cat randomly 'shuffled' the Mother Mary Oracle deck by Alana Fairchild (cat speak for he pawed at it with vigor,) and this card was the first to appear, which was oh so appropriate!
The Healing Process and Affirmation: "Close your eyes and visualize a bright golden sun burning all around you. Imagine that in the sun is Mother Mary, in robes of golden fire, gazing at you with intensity, joy and laughter. She knows something that you may have forgotten! She knows that you are divine and will always be - no matter what! Imagine that you are in on the secret with her now, laughing too, as you realise the great burning sun is actually your own divine soul. Imagine that golden sun burning bright and feeling good, as you realise you are within the centre of that golden sun, with the Mother Mary holding your hand, shining beautiful golden light upon the earth together. Stay here as long as feels right, and when you are ready, repeat the following prayer affirmation to close your healing practice. Golden Mother, burning bright with heavenly love, you and I are one. You honour the needs of my soul, wild and free it must be, fed by darkness and light, both channelled into awakening and complete love. Watch over me, beloved Mother, and bless me with all that I need to become my most radiant soul, alive with passionate play and Divine love. Through the holy miracles of your grace, I remember you and I are always one, and the world is nourished by our love.
Thank you for reading, and if anything, I hope this reminds you everything is an evolution and growth and process. We are human and Divine, and we are never alone.
With love - Molly