What's with that place between survival mode and presence?
Change and transition! When this occurs, typically, we are removing our old frames of reference that our brain has held onto, used, and quite frankly, likes, to move into a place where we have very little to no reference points.
For me, a pattern I've noticed recently is this: I am doing my thing, fully present in the moment and who I am, being in heart space to connect, accept, and allowing the moment to be the moment, sharing it with whoever is in that space with me. The beauty of being present is that there is very little chatter from the brain, or it passes across my radar without making a lengthy stop. There are no measurements of what is happening or worrying about what to say next or what to do to keep receiving the positive feedback that you are liked or loved or a good person. It often even shows up as a judgment free zone!
And then, the brain shows up.
It asks how do you know that time was true, real, or successful? How do we measure that encounter? Was this encounter for the success of your business? Do they still like you? How do you know? It returns to a very solid (and lifetime's old) pattern for me of operating from survival mode.
When I say survival mode, I define it as brain centered (or oriented) living so one can be safe; black or white thinking; doing whatever it takes to not have to feel anything uncomfortable. All is orderly, logical, and again, safe. Another phrase I like to use is head up living (no incorporation of the body, heart, or emotions.)
Today, I looked at this. Because today's episode had me looking to others to compare what they are doing to be successful and growing their business. It had me on this track of why am I not doing that? Oh, because they have partners or a support system or more years of experience or etc, etc, etc. I found myself trying to define my worth and value by comparing myself to others - a bit like a have and have not situation. Somehow I was now in a place of being a victim - I wasn't acknowledging/owning my own worth, I was measuring it through comparison.
I did not and do not like this! And as this pattern has gained some force in the last few weeks (or months... but who's counting?) I opened my Akashic Records to really dig into this and remove/release/better understand it.
Survival mode is super comfy for me; I've spent lifetimes in that place. Now, I am being: acknowledging, allowing, and accepting myself as the Divine Being that IS worthy, that IS love, that IS always safe, and that IS always at choice. I am happy to be at this place, it's awesome!
Today, I could see survival mode as fear generated, judgment measured, and a loss of self, wholeness, love, Divine self. Being does not require judgment or measurement for validation. It acknowledges that all are Divine, whole, worthy, love.
Possibly extremes ... and as much as I'd like to say that hey! I am here and there and present at all times, it is not the case. I am very much transitioning and learning about these two places. I've made the choice to be present, which means looking at when I am not and figuring out why. Learning to look with a third party observer kinda view versus a "I did wrong" (judgment based) outlook.
In looking at this pattern, and working with a past life where it was established, I more fully realized that I am at choice and I can update how I define success in my life, with my friends, with anything!
And, I have to allow myself to be in transition and to recognize that my brain (and therefore me!) may also feel uncomfortable during it.
Now I ponder and get to practice - how will I have compassion for myself during my times of discomfort and transition?
And honestly, it is exciting to be in a place of discomfort, because to me it means that I am facing fears and continuously moving into this place of me, who I am, and the art of being present.
For that, I am grateful and so appreciative of that beauty.
With love - Molly